Mixed Feelings

I've had some interesting feelings the last couple days. Like I'm ready for things, yet at the same time- defiantly not. Here are some examples:

- I am so excited to have this baby, I feel like I could be ready right now- yet I have no desire to finish packing for the hospital or go to the store for the last couple things we need before the baby comes to us.

- I am so looking forward to Josh's graduation and getting things together for that is exciting to me- getting my finals all set; that I have no motivation to do.

- I want Spring to be here so bad and I think an Easter baby would be great- but I don't feel like getting the things for Josh's Easter basket or anything else similarly related.

It's like I want all these things to happen and just go smoothly without having to do the work to prepare. And I guess it's all part of an overall feeling of confliction- I want the baby to come early so I don't have to reschedule my finals therefore I have no desire to reschedule them, but I'm not sure I want the baby to come too early because I don't know if I am quite ready yet so that's why I'm not finishing getting ready.

I guess I just don't know how I feel except unmotivated.